I Am – still in need – Poem

This poem is based on and inspired by a photo on a  friend and fellow blogger’s site  http://yichinglin.com/. “Y” has been inspiration to more than one poem on my blog… Thanks Y! Please check out her work, I’m sure you’ll find, as I have, many things you enjoy.

I haven’t written much in the last few months and during that time, this photo continued to pour its way back into my mind and heart time and time again. I knew when I first saw it that I would write a poem about it. Maybe it grabbed me more because I have a daughter that is almost 16… I hurt for the one in this photo, someone’s daughter, sister, friend… What you do matters whether they are your kids or someone else’s… you have an impact, good or bad. Be mindful, not only of your actions or lack thereof but your words or lack thereof as well. Thanks again Y for inspiring me with this photo and for allowing me to post it on my blog.

 

I Am – still in need

Famished - Photo taken by Yi-ching Lin Photography

I am
That little girl, grass between her toes
Bow in hair, flower pressed to nose

The one in diapers you call “hon”
Smiling with pride as I waddle across the floor

Chasing butterflies by day, lightning bugs by night
Wonder of the stars dancing in moonlight

I have
No clue of the long hair to come
Only a shirt for cover, distant stare, craving there

I am
The one you held when knees were skinned
Chin quivering, band-aids and kisses mend

Walking to the bus, first day of school
Wanting to be cool, neither of us cried

Latch key kid, I became
Fixing my own snack, burying my pain

I have
No understanding of where I’m headed
Worn shoes, no socks, driven to go, but where

I am
Starting my venture in the wrong crowd
Wanting to fit in, find acceptance

Losing your lead, first time I bleed
Scared and alone at home, I bury the tears

First smoke of cigarette on the walk home
Needing to talk, you’re not there

I have
Doubts as to my life, worth, ability
Needs being fed by the machine

I am
Growing up fast, innocence won’t last
Must prove I can and claim a “man”

Learning to need, missing hugs
Filling hurt with Speed, alcohol, weed and more

Learning what it takes to open doors
Filling the hole, bigger needs stake costly claims
I have
No thought of the runway model in tattered clothes
Surrounded by hair stylists who know not of her presence

I am
In search of home, peace
My next fix ‘til then

I am
Beauty within looking for love
Trying

I am
Still in need of you

Stephen Kellogg – 2011